Grow Up
Grow Up is the second episode of Angiosperm. Transcript * (Continuing off of the last episode, a large blue cell approaches.) * Blue Cell: It is I, Dimensional Cell! * Angiosperm: Ah! What do we do? Are you going to teleport me to another dimension or something? * Dimensional Cell: Nah, man, you cool. * Angiosperm: Oh. * Dimensional Cell: I came here from an asteroid near Vorton, the foundation of- * Meco: WAIT IS THAT SEAWEED? * Angiosperm: No, we're still too small to find seaweed, that's a large flake of algae- * Meco: SEAWEED! * Angiosperm: Okay, fine, it's "seaweed", if you want me to call it that. * (Cruncher swims in.) * Cruncher: Ruff, ruff! * Tim: Everyone, hide! * Dimensional Cell: I come from the foundation of the universe! There is no need for me to- * (Cruncher charges through and the four of them hide behind a piece of rubble.) * Angiosperm: Why are we hiding, again? I killed one of these guys without breaking a sweat once. And that was BEFORE my growth spurt! * Tim: Oh, right, my bad. * (Dimensional Cell sticks his proboscis into Cruncher.) * Cruncher: Bow wow! * Dimensional Cell: I vant to zuck your zlime out of you. * (Cruncher's cytoplasm is drained by Dimensional Cell, causing him to deflate.) * Dimensional Cell: All in a day's work! * Meco: Hey wait, what about that green plant? * (A gigantic Sluggy eats it whole.) * Meco: Damn Sluggies. * Angiosperm: Yum, he sure looks delicious! * Meco: ...you have really weird taste, Ang, you know that, right? * Angiosperm: I'm a carnivore in a pool of this primal soup or whatever this sh*t is, show some respect. * Tim: Wait, carni-vore! It has vore in it! Ha ha! * Angiosperm: Yeah, really funny, Timbs. Let's try and get some food that won't get eaten the second we reach it. * Dimensional Cell: It's really unlikely we'll find any, in that case. * Unknown Cell: What the **** be up, biatches? * Angiosperm: Hey, this is a PG-13 show show, so no cursing. * Unknown Cell: Come on, I bleeped dat sh*t! * Meco: Who are you, anyway? * Unknown Cell: Hughmongous. Jimbo Hughmongous. * Tim: ...okay? * Jimbo Hughmongous: So, we r' lookin' fo' food, huh? * Angiosperm: Yes, Lil' Pump, we are looking for food. * Jimbo Hughmongous: Sweet, I ludd food. Dat sh*t keeps us alive, afta all. * Dimensional Cell: Okay, let's try and find a plant or whatever. * (Cut to the five of them reaching a green flake plant. * Jimbo Hughmongous: Wow, dat be a big f**kin' plant. * Angiosperm: Hey! You weren't censored that time. * Meco: On modern television, F-words and even S-words are censored all the time, so I think we're safe. * Jimbo Hughmongous: Hey, wait, why tha **** dis show depict brutal murda but therez ain't no shizzle words allowed? * Tim: 'Merican public TV laws or whatever. * Dimensional Cell: It's not actually a law- * Meco: Guys, let's just eat this frickin' plant. * Tim: Sounds like a plan, Meconabo. * (Meco eats a flake.) * Meco: Mm, this is really good! * (Tim shoves a bunch into his mouth.) * Tim: Yeah, it tastes like heaven! * Angiosperm: ...what do I eat? * (Dimensional Cell swallows one and licks the stem of the plant for leftovers.) * Dimensional Cell: Go kill a guy and eat him or something I dunno. * (Jimbo Hughmongous slowly eats a shaving of it.) * Jimbo Hughmongous: Yeah, biatches, dis be wack n' all, but i be really tryin' ta find some meat. Dat sh*t be kickass. * Angiosperm: Good, you can go on an adventure with me to kill someone and eat their flesh! * Jimbo Hughmongous: Good enough. * (Cut to the duo swimming to a school of cells.) * Jimbo Hughmongous: Maybe I'm just high on dat plant sh*t, but I think I realized why we can't sweabut we can show all dat killin' n' sh*t. * Angiosperm: Why is that? * Jimbo Hughmongous: Well sh***t, we're all cells right? * Angiosperm: Yes, and? * Jimbo Hughmongous: Since we're so small, they can show a bunch o' dirtnap n' blood n' sh*t bcuz' o' da fact dat we're two inch amputated leeches. * Angiosperm: That actually makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it. * Jimbo Hughmongous: Look! I think I found a thug! * Angiosperm: Where? * Jimbo Hughmongous: Up yo' goddamn ass n' 'round tha corner, pimpo. * Angiosperm: ...dang it. * Jimbo Hughmongous: Therez plenty o' 'em in plain sight, Greeny Phatom, how tha f**k 'bout we kick their muthaf**kin' asses? * Angiosperm: Sounds like a plan. * Jimbo Hughmongous: Than therez no time ta lose! Letz kick some butt n' smoke some meat chunks! * Angiosperm: Yeah! *(Jimbo Hughmongous swims in.) *Jimbo Hughmongous: Prepare ta die, yo' hapless cells! *(Everyone swims away.) *Angiosperm: Yeah, good going, you lunatic. *(A sole Shycoop is still left.) *Shycoop: Fite me. *Jimbo Hughmongous: Alright, than I gotta! *(Jimbo Hughmongous bites Shycoop on the rear.) *Shycoop: AHAHAHA! *(Jimbo Hughmongous sinks his teeth in deeper.) *Shycoop: AHHHHHHHH! *(Shycoop explodes.) *Jimbo Hughmongous: So, what the f**k else can I say except "Yo' goddamn welcome?". *Angiosperm: You need to at least trick me into saying "Thank you". *Jimbo Hughmongous: Damn, yo' salty, lil' pimp. *(Jimbo Hughmongous eats a nugget of flesh.) *Jimbo Hughmongous: Dis be tha shit! *Angiosperm: Now, don't get mad at me or anything, but may I please have some? *Jimbo Hughmongous: Hell nah, thug, I killed da lil' biatch so I git ta smoke her a**hole. Yo' git murda a cell yourself, yo' greedy ass son o' a glock. *Angiosperm: Ugh, fine. *(Angiosperm wades away from Jimbo Hughmongous.) *Angiosperm: Hey, come and get me, predators! I'm ready for all you opaque dick-weeds! *(Nothing happens.) *Angiosperm: Might as well give up. *(A Spiky Shycoop swims in.) *Spiky Shycoop: You... hurt... girlfriend! *Angiosperm: Oh sh*t... uh... well, technically it was Jimmy there, not me... *Jimbo Hughmongous: I ****in' hate yo'. *(Angiosperm swims away.) *Spiky Shycoop: You... kill... Shycoop! *Jimbo Hughmongous: Shycoop? Who the **** in all o' doggz names their mutha****in' kid Shycoop? or did yo' name yo' goddamn biatch dat? I mean, yo' look pretty dumb, so.... *(Spiky Shycoop transfixes Jimbo Hughmongous with one of his spears.) *Jimbo Hughmongous: ...Dis shit isn't actually as uncomfortable as it looks, by da way. *(Jimbo Hughmongous explodes into a bloody eruption.) *Spiky Shycoop: You... green one! *Angiosperm: (Offscreen) He can still see me? What are you, Spider-Man? *(Spiky Shycoop swims offscreen. Cut to Angiosperm splashing away.) *Angiosperm: I haven't been more terrified since I tasted all the grease on Little Caesars' pizza! *(Angiosperm outruns Spiky Shycoop, the latter looking around, unable to find him.) *Angiosperm: Phew! *(Angiosperm bumps into a large Booster.) *Angiosperm: Ow! You bit me! *Booster: I don't give a rat's ass. *Angiosperm: What comes along goes along, then! *(Angiosperm bites Booster from the back.) *Booster: Ow! You feisty little bastard! *(Angiosperm pokes Booster with one of his spikes, killing him.) *Angiosperm: Ooh! A jet! *(Angiosperm gets the jet and grows it on his back.) *Angiosperm: Wow! Now I can shoot bubbles out of my ass! *(Angiosperm squirts bubbles out, and is sent flying across the tide pool.) *Angiosperm: WHOA! *(Angiosperm returns to where he was, and feasts on the cubes of meat left of Booster.) *Angiosperm: ...I don't feel so good. *(Angiosperm distends.) *Angiosperm: Ugh, growth spurts always make me even hungrier. *Meco: Maybe there's a reason why? *Angiosperm: Yo, long time no see, Meco! *Meco: Nah, it's only been two thousand years, you good. *(Squirt swims in.) *Squirt: Talking! *Angiosperm: Indeed, you are talking. *(Squirt snaps his jaws, almost eating Meco.) *Angiosperm: Stay back, you fiend! *Squirt: Wee? *Angiosperm: CHARGE! *(Angiosperm lunges at Squirt.) *Squirt: You stupid? *(Squirt expels noxious clouds.) *Angiosperm: (Coughs) Oh gosh. *(Angiosperm swims away, where he finds Tim.) *Tim: Soooo, how did the fight go? *Angiosperm: Dye. *Tim: What? *Angiosperm: Dye, not die, you're too good of a teammate. *Tim: Oh, phew. *(Sluggy swims in.) *Tim: Ooh, exotic! *Angiosperm: I could look at him for ages on end. *(A giant Impaler swims in.) *Impaler: Beep beep! Outta the way, a**holes! *Angiosperm: Swim! *(Angiosperm and Tim paddle away in different directions, with Angiosperm bumping into Dimensional Cell.) *Dimensional Cell: Sup. *Angiosperm: Dimensional! There's a big purple penis that can shoot poison out of his butt that is trying to kill me! *Dimensional Cell: (Beat) You trippin', man. *Angiosperm: No, seriously! I tried stabbing him, but he shot these fumes out that nearly poisoned me! *Dimensional Cell: Leave it to me. *Angiosperm: Thanks. *(Squirt swims in.) *Angiosperm: Well, Pecker, speak of the devil, and he shall appear! *Squirt: It's Squirt. *Angiosperm: Like that's any better, two fingers. *Squirt: ...I don't have any fingers. *Angiosperm: You know what, just sic 'em, Dimensions. *(Dimensional Cell reveals a spike in his mouth.) *Dimensional Cell: Stand back, or be harpooned! *Squirt: Fight me, baby blue. *(Dimensional Cell charges in, but simply ricochets off of Squirt.) *Dimensional Cell: How's about I try that again? *(Dimensional Cell swims at an angle, and runs his spike through Squirt.) *Squirt: GREER! *Dimensional Cell: Yeah, cry it up, dickhead. *(Squirt flies apart, leaving a pool of purple cytoplasm.) *Dimensional Cell: Not too hard, huh, Ang? *Angiosperm: Guess it wasn't. Let's apply his acid squirting thingamajig to us and be done with it. *Dimensional Cell: He only has one of them, though. *Angiosperm: Whatever, I'm pretty sure it'll apply to both of us, this IS a really convenient show, after all. *(The duo swims to the toxin squirter, applying it both of them.) *Angiosperm: See? What'd I say. *Dimensional Cell: Yeah, guess you're right. I can't eat flesh, though; my nose-mouth thing only allows me to drink blood. I'll try and find a guy to kill, you go eat him. *Angiosperm: Catch ya later, I'll buy ya a beer. *(Dimensional Cell swims away.) *Angiosperm: Ah, some alone time. *(A giant Snarf appears.) *Snarf: Heh heh. *Angiosperm: ...oh sh*t. *(The Snarf is spiked through by a spear.) *Snarf: There sure is a lot of impaling in this episode, huh? *(Snarf explodes into pink blood, with Jimbo Hughmongous, armed with a spear, swimming out.) *Angiosperm: (Whispering) Oh sh*t. (Normal) Jim! *Jimbo Hughmongous: Hey, yo're Greeny, right? *Angiosperm: Angiosperm. *Jimbo Hughmongous: Wait, yo' aren't tha dude dat swam away when I was bein' mauled by dat ****in' spiky asshole, r' yo'? *Angiosperm: Ah, f**k. *(Spiral transition to black.) Trivia * This is the first episode of Angiosperm with more than one f-bomb. Category:Angiosperm Category:Angiosperm Episodes Category:TV show episodes Category:Trigger Happy the Gremlin Category:1001 Spears Category:2018 Category:May